Losing Her
by funngurl
Summary: Kyo is forced to come to terms with his feelings when disaster strikes. But does Tohru accept or reject them? Kyo's lost in confusion! Kyoru fluff. Happy ending with fluff. ENJOY!
1. Don't leave me

**Heeeeeeey readers! Funngurl is back! Whee! Sorry I haven't written in so long, been busy but now I'm back in business! Just so you know, you might be really confused at first, and yes Tohru is TOTALLY OOC, but once you get to the end it'll make sense. HOPE YOU LIKE IT! No flames, only constructive criticism please and thank you!**

"_Where… where am I?"_ thought Kyo, as he opened his eyes. Everything was blurred. As he rubbed his eyes, his surroundings became clear. He was at the park a couple blocks from the school. "How the hell did I get here?" Kyo asked aloud, even though no one was around.

He got up, and staggered a bit before regaining balance. "Wow, the way I'm acting, someone would think I'm drunk," he said, again talking to himself. He was surprised no one was around.

The sky was dark and cloudy. He covered his sensitive cat-like nose. There was a strong smell in the air, not the normal scent of rain. This one was much heavier… it almost hurt to breathe. Suddenly he felt a raindrop hit the top of his head, and slide down his cheek. Another one hit his nose, and a couple landed on his arm. That's when he noticed… these weren't raindrops… it was a crimson coloured liquid with a coppery scent… it was…blood.

It got heavier and began pouring blood. Kyo, still covering his nose, ran, looking for shelter. As he ducked under a blood-caked tree, the storm stopped as quickly as it started. As he looked up, he noticed all the blood had disappeared. The tree was clean, and the ground was completely blood free. Even he was clean. This was just too weird! He sighed pressing his hand to his head. His hand was sticky… he looked and… there was still blood on his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut not understanding anything. He needed something to make sense of all this!

"Kyo-kun!" cried a small familiar voice. He opened his eyes, and his hands were clean again. He looked only to see Tohru racing towards him.

"Tohru? What are you doing here?" asked Kyo, getting more confused by the minute.

"I came here looking for you Kyo-kun," she said cheerfully. "It's your turn to pick dinner tonight," she reminded him as she smiled cutely.

He smiled, "Okay, let's go home," he said, now in a better mood. He was until… it happened. They were walking home when suddenly; a shot that seemed to come from nowhere hit Tohru in the stomach. She doubled over in pain, and then collapsed completely onto the cold ground.

"Tohru!" cried Kyo, scared and worried. He looked around, for whoever it was that fired the shot, but saw no one. He lifted Tohru off the ground and cradled the injured girl in his arms. "Tohru, speak to me, please!" he cried desperately. She opened her eyes and a sad smile crossed her face. "Tohru? Tohru please say something!" he pleaded.

"Kyo…kun," she choked out, "This is… all your fault" she finished with a small laugh.

"What? Tohru please don't say that!" he begged, feeling his face heat up. Tears nearly flooded his eyes. It took every ounce of strength he had to hold them back. He couldn't take responsibility for another death, not another one…

"You could have saved me Kyo-kun…you could have…saved me… but you weren't fast enough, or strong enough… so I paid the price… it's your fault," she said so gently it hurt.

The tears spilled from his eyes then in realization of her words. _"She's right! I should've saved her! I should've been faster! This is all my fault!"_ He screamed in his head. "I… I'm sorry Tohru! So sorry!" He sobbed, clutching her body tightly, blood still leaking from her wound, all over him.

She let out a small, weak laugh. "Oh don't worry Kyo-kun. I forgive you… I'm not like my mother in that sense," she said calmly, still struggling to speak at all.

"What! You knew!" asked a very panicked Kyo. This was all too much for him to handle.

"Don't be silly Kyo-kun, I've always known you killed my mother," she said, smiling.

"No! I didn't kill her! I didn't save her, but I didn't kill her!" he cried, pain clear in his voice.

"You might as well have, you could've saved her and didn't, just like me," she stated. "I guess I'm a fool, I should've hated you, but instead I fell in love with you," she confessed just as calmly.

"What? Tohru, I love you SO much! I need you! You can't leave me please!" he cried, tears still running down his face. Surprised that it came out so easily.

"You're too late now Kyo-kun… you had your chance…" she said breathlessly, her face paling as she spoke.

"Please don't talk anymore! I'll get you help! You'll be okay!" said Kyo, reassuring himself more than Tohru.

She shook her head, and started to softly sing

_Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid_

"Please Tohru! Don't waste your energy!" Kyo cried desperately. Tohru just placed her slender finger over his lips and continued.

_Can you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you_

_Sweet raptured light_

_It ends here tonight_

She let out her last breath and went limp in Kyo's arms. "Tohru! PLEASE COME BACK!" He cried sobbing and holding her body as if she'd break. "PLEASE!" he screamed in agony.

He looked into her eyes, as he had done many times before, but what he saw now terrified him. Her once chocolate brown orbs that shone with happiness and love were now dull brown mirrors into cold emptiness.

Slowly, every painful memory Kyo had drifted back to him. But not one terrifying, painful, or sad memory could even compare with the painful moment he was experiencing. This would definitely be his most painful memory.

How could he go on without Tohru? Her mere presence shone through all darkness. How could he live without her sounds drifting through the house? Like the way she hummed softly while hanging the laundry, or the soft tapping of her feet as she walked down the halls, the cheerful greeting he got every time he saw her… and the sound he'd miss the most, the sound of her saying his name.

He loved hearing it, the way it rolled off her tongue, so simply as if she was unaware she was addressing a monster. At first she was unaware, but even after she saw his true form, she said his name the same as before. _Kyo-kun. _She said it with such a bright smile… _Kyo-kun…_ The word floated through his mind, as he closed his eyes, almost comforted by his memory. He let the sound play in his mind, over and over like a stuck record. _Kyo-kun. Kyo-kun. Kyo-kun. Kyo-kun. _All he could do was smile slightly, not daring to open his eyes to see the lifeless beauty lying limp in his arms. He didn't want to see her like that. So he wouldn't move. _Kyo-kun. Kyo-kun. _It began to ring in his ears. It sounded so real! Like she was really talking! Tears began to fall as he listened for the beautiful sound, the only thing keeping him sane. _Kyo-kun? Kyo-kun! _That was strange… the tone in her voice changed… why'd that happen? _Kyo-kun! Please wake up Kyo-kun! _It was so close now! Like she was sitting next to him! _Please Kyo-kun!_

His eyes snapped open as he looked around, drenched in a cold sweat. How'd he get to his room? And where was Tohru? He looked up to see her kneeling next to him and leaning over him, looking concerned, with hair up in pigtails. "Kyo-kun! Are you alright?" asked Tohru, in a panicked tone.

"Yeah…I'm okay" he said sitting up, not understanding what was going on. Didn't she just…

"I'm really sorry I came in without permission! You were tossing and turning and breathing really fast. You were mumbling too but I couldn't hear what you were saying, I was really worried. I just wanted to wake you up. Were you having a bad dream Kyo-kun? ". That's when reality finally sank in. _A dream._ That made sense of everything!

"Yeah," he muttered, smiling softly, "Just a dream". He was so relieved it was just a dream, and that Tohru was safe.

"Alright, well come up if you're hungry, I saved some breakfast for you and I can heat it up if you want," she said cheerfully as usual, smiling sweetly as she got up to leave. Kyo grabbed her wrist. She looked back, confused. "Is something wrong Kyo-kun?" she asked innocently, curiosity flashing in her eyes.

Kyo paused for a moment, not sure how to say what he wanted to. "Tohru… you know I'll always protect you… right?" He asked, trying not to sound desperate, knowing he probably did anyways. As usual, Tohru didn't notice.

"Of course I do Kyo-kun! I'm really lucky to have met you. Yuki-kun too. All the Sohma's make me feel like I finally belong," She announced cheerfully as she skipped out and back into the kitchen.

Kyo laughed at her misunderstanding of his words. Not exactly the reaction he was hoping for. She could be SO oblivious sometimes! But it was one of the many astounding qualities that made Tohru who she was. And that was the girl he loved. He couldn't tell her yet but one day he'd do it. One day he'd tell Tohru how he really felt, no holding back.

**Is it over? You tell me! Do you want another chapter or should it remain a one-shot? REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW! X3 HOPE YOU LIKED IT! ~ Funngurl xoxo  
**

**A/N: Just so you know, I'm writing a second chapter since it was requested but I read this chapter over and noticed SO MANY mistake so I'm fixing them and that's why I reposted this chapter.**


	2. Dear Tohru

**Hey guys! FINALLY updating this fic! Sorry it took so long, I got busy then kinda forgot, but I am finishing it! Anyways, I thought this might be a cute confession so I hope it's not too OOC and I hope you like it!**

_Dear Tohru,_

_This is really hard for me to say… I've tried and failed many times already… All those times I've tried and just lost my words… Listen, before I tell you what I've tried to tell you so many times, I need to make sure you realize a few things._

_I don't have money, and I can't buy you nice things. Remember what I got you for Christmas? You know the quilt with the rice ball on it? I know it looked really bad and you probably didn't like it, but I actually made it. Most people find it stupid if a guy sews or knits or anything but I used to have to on the mountains during training, it got really cold at night and some of the blankets Shishou and I had were ripped and torn beyond repair, so we made our own. I just couldn't buy you anything, and wanted to give you something you can use. Not that you'd use that… I always see it folded up neatly, sitting on the same shelf every time I pass your room. You still seemed so happy and excited when you got it. You know why I sewed the rice ball picture on? Because of that day we were talking about plums. Do you remember? You said everyone was a different rice ball with a unique flavor, they just couldn't see it because it was like a plum on their back. If you've looked at the other side of the quilt you'd have noticed the back of the rice ball with a big plum on it. That's what you have. You're so unique, and it's wonderful._

_I also can't change the fact that I'm a monster… I wish I could, really I do… but I'm a monster. You've seen it with your own eyes. It may not matter to you, but it's dangerous for me to be around you. If this bracelet ever breaks or comes off I could really hurt you… when I become my true form it's hard to control my strength. That day that I scratched you, I was just trying to push you away, but I did much worse. I don't want to hurt you Tohru. _

_Another thing about me that might hurt you is my temper… I try to control it but… at times I lash out and say things I don't mean. I don't want to make you cry again. I know I did when we first met and you hugged me. I called you a stupid little girl. I'm still sorry about that. _

_Now what I've tried to tell you over and over is… I love you Tohru. It surprised me when I realized it because I didn't know a monster could love. But you don't see me as a monster… that's incredible. You're an incredible girl who deserves more than I can ever give. I love you Tohru Honda, and I can't change that. If this freaks you out, my only request is that you burn this or bury it, or just crumple it up and forget you saw it, just please don't avoid me. You're the only one who's never run away from me, and I'm hoping I'm not ruining anything by telling you this now. Just know that every word of this letter is true. You're beautiful inside and out, never forget that. _

_Sincerely,_

_Kyo Sohma_

Tohru held the note to her chest, smiling softly, lovingly. She sat on her soft bed, wrapped up in the warm Onigiri quilt Kyo had made her, as it protected her from the chilly night. Though the house did have heating obviously, the quilt provided her with a little extra warmth. She had used it every night since she had received it, and folded it up in the morning, putting it away neatly. She peered out her window and looked up at the stars, the same stars that Kyo-kun was seeing now from his usual spot on the roof.

_"Oh mom,"_ thought Tohru, _"I'm so lucky to know Kyo-kun… I love him too, you know? I just need to let him know now". _Folding up the quilt, she got out a piece of paper, wrote for a couple minutes, and folding it. She held the quilt in one arm, and Kyo's letter and the paper she had written in her other hand. Her destination: the roof.

**Kay guys, the next chapter shouldn't take too long and will likely be REALLY cute! You like? R&R! **


	3. To The Roof!

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for all your reviews! They all meant a lot to me! And FINALLY, as requested, the final chapter is complete! Hope you enjoy the ending of this little fluff piece! R&R!**

Kyo looked up at the stars, as he tried to calm his churning stomach. He was nervous as hell. He had slipped the note under Tohru's door about half an hour ago while she was downstairs doing laundry. He wondered if she'd been in her room yet, if she'd seen it on the floor, if she'd ever notice it. It's true that Tohru was quite oblivious but she kept her room spotless so it was promising that if anything was on her floor, she'd see it.

_"I wonder if she's reading it right now…"_ he wondered, but shook his head, trying to get such childish thoughts out of his head. What are the chances that she'd been in her room, or that she'd even read the letter? Okay, knowing Tohru, she probably would, she was always considerate like that. Kyo sighed and figured he should just stop thinking about it.

He sat up, suddenly realizing how cold it was now. He'd been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed the temperature drop. He heard a slight flapping sound as something lightly hit his back, then float onto the roof's surface. He spun around to see no one with him on the roof but a small envelope right behind him.

Kyo opened the envelope to find a short letter inside. He read it, and it said:

_Dear Kyo-kun,_

_I can't write as wonderfully as you do. I found the letter beautifully written and I appreciate the thought you put into it. If I tried to write you a letter like the one you wrote me, I wouldn't know where to begin, or how to go about it without sounding silly or strange. That's why I think it's better if I tell you…_

That's where the letter stopped. Kyo knew it was from Tohru the moment he saw it, she was the only one who called him Kyo-kun and her handwriting was unmistakable. He read through it, shocked and slightly confused as to what she was trying to say. As soon as he had finished reading, he felt warmth spread over his shoulders and down his cold arms. He looked up to see Tohru draping the Onigiri blanket he'd made her over his chilled form, hugging him as she did it.

"You shouldn't be sitting out here in a t-shirt Kyo-kun, you'll catch a cold" Tohru said softly, a loving smile on her face.

"Tohru…" was all Kyo could manage to say as the young girl sat next to him.

"Kyo, I wasn't lying when I said that I loved this blanket you know. I use it every night and it helps me sleep. I just fold it up and put it on the shelf when I wake up so it doesn't get dirty or rip or anything. I never knew you made it though Kyo-kun. It looks amazing!" Tohru said eyes gleaming.

Kyo blushed slightly, trying not to let it show. "Yeah well… like I said, in the mountains I had to fend for myself so I learned to do a lot of things that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Needlework just happened to be one of those skills," Kyo muttered. He was glad she liked it, but almost disappointed that she completely avoided the subject of hi confession. Not that he expected her to feel the same way but deep down he hoped she would. He looked down, trying to hide the disappointment in hi eyes from her gaze.

"And Kyo?" she began. As he looked up, she leaned in and met his lips with her own. Kyo's eyes widened but after a moment he closed his eyes and began to kiss her back. It was a sweet and innocent kiss, that seemed to last a lifetime. They both slowly pulled away, and Tohru whispered, "I love you too" before allowing her eyes to flutter open.

Kyo swiftly took the blanket off himself, wrapped it around her, and pulled her to his chest in a loving, gentle hug. He'd never felt so happy, so relieved, so loved all at once.

"Kyo-kun, you'll catch a cold if you don't-" a startled Tohru began,

"I don't care. None of that matters right now, just please let me hold you for a little longer," he whispered gently. She smiled, feeling the warmth of his arms around her, the blanket creating a barrier to keep him from transforming.

After he pulled away, Tohru sat closer to him. She draped one end of the blanket over Kyo's shoulder, careful not to touch him in case it sparked a transformation, and left the other side wrapped around herself.

Kyo smiled as he covered her hand with his own and she laid her head on his shoulder. It seemed that as long as their arms weren't directly each other, Kyo wouldn't transform. And there they stayed, the blanket keeping them both warm, and both unable to stop smiling.

Kyo looked down at Tohru, who looked very relaxed and a bit tired from running around doing chores all day. And for the very first time, he said it out loud:

_"I love you"._

**I thought that'd be a cute ending ^^ Hope you liked all liked it!**


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